Happily Divorced And After

AKA Youth Summit

INLAND EMPIRE, CA-The women of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., Eta Nu Omega Chapter of San Bernardino-Riverside, lead two signature events that started on the eve of Dr. Martin Luther King’s Jr.’s holiday and the other on the day of the national holiday observed nationwide in recognition of his birthday.
On Sunday, January 19, in collaboration with American Legion Post 14 and the Ivy Foundation, the women of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority held their third Annual Sunday Supper at the American Legion Post 14, San Bernardino, CA.  The theme was “Honoring Our Peacemakers.”  The Sunday Supper created a forum to engage the community in promoting dialogue to address challenges that represent barriers to progress in the veteran community. Various speakers spoke on benefits and services available to veterans.  Topics included housing, education, health, jobs, female veteran concerns, and family counselling.  Bryant Taylor, student (Veteran, United States Navy) at California State University, San Bernardino (CSUSB) and one of the guest speakers, encouraged attendees to visit the Veteran’s Success Center (VSC) at CSUSB and to meet the Director, Marci Danials to discuss additional services CSUSB VSC has to offer.  Mr. Taylor also referenced Melissa McQuead’s name as a resource to assist veterans for admission to the university.
Sunday supper was served by the AKA Emerging Young Leaders (EYL) students who had successfully enjoyed the AKA EYL Youth Summit the day before at Brandman University.  Three of the EYL students whose essay was selected among many, made an essay presentation to the guest of this event.  All three students who made presentations were provided with a savings bond for a job well done from the sorority.
Special recognition was given to all three organizations for organizing and communicating information to the veteran’s community from Lisa Blacksher, Field Representative for Assembly Member, Cheryl Brown of the 47th District.    Mayor Pat Morris, City of San Bernardino was an active participant of the program too who provided information on access for resources for the veteran’s community. The evening concluded with veterans in the audience to stand for recognition for their service in all branches within the United States Military.
The national holiday observed on Monday, January 20, in memory of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday “was a day on not a day off” for the members of Alpha Kappa Alpha.  Members continued performing community service by volunteering at various Blood Banks in the Inland Empire.  Life Stream of San Bernardino and Riverside Counties and the Roman Catholic Diocese of San Bernardino Catholics of African Descent and Ministry held its 14th Annual Blood of the Martyrs Blood Drive in honor of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  All were encouraged to give the gift of life by donating and/or encouraging others to give blood. As Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”  For future programs and events, visit www.etanuomega.org

Senior King and Queen

SAN BERNARDINO, CA- The  San Bernardino Black Culture Foundation is happy to announce the 2014 Senior King and Queen, Heck and Barbara Thomas.  Barbara was born in Six, West Virginia and raised in Baltimore, Maryland and Sanford, North Carolina. Heck was born and raised in Meridian, Mississippi.  They have been residents of Highland since 1985 and Heck retired from the United States Air Force in 1988.  They are the proud parents of Yolanda, grandparents of Kristy and Kamari, and great-grandparents of Jaxson. The Thomas’ have been very active in San Bernardino.  They attend the Traditional Community Fellowship Chapel in Highland, a church started by the military men and women who were stationed at Norton Air Force Base. Barbara served as Women Auxiliary Chairperson, special events planner, and is in charge of social activities and raising funds to support the church ministry.  She also volunteered as a mentor for some of the adult students at the San Bernardino Adult School who did not have positive female influences in their lives.  She worked for ten years in the Army and Air Force Exchange Service at Norton and Malmstrom (Montana) until her medical retirement in 1989.  She was a member of the Non-Commissioned Officers Wives club and a member of the Radiant Rubies of Highland, a chapter of the Red Hat Society.
Heck was employed by the San Bernardino County Department of Behavioral Health from 1988 to 1996 as a Mental Health Employment Specialist; a Teacher on Assignment for The San Bernardino City Unified School District and worked at the San Bernardino Adult School from 1996-2010.  He has been active in the community, serving as church executive board president, past president and board member of the Kiwanis Club of Highland, past president and board member of the Frazee Community Center, past San Bernardino chapter president of the California Council of Adult Educators and has worked and volunteered with programs to assist the homeless for over 25 years.  Heck has also served with the Highland Youth Accountability Board.  He has received the Black Rose Award from the San Bernardino Black Culture Foundation, several Kiwanian of the Year Awards, Hixson Fellow, Dunlap Fellow, and several Kiwanis Distinguished Service Awards.  He is also the recipient of the George McCune Collaborative Award.
They are both enjoying retirement, community service, and spending quality time with their great grandson, Jaxson.

Kim Carter

LOMA LINDA , CA- Loma Linda University Health will be holding its Sixth Annual Women’s Health Conference.  This year’s theme is, “Be You! Fit. Smart. Healthy.”  The conference is designed for women of all walks of life, seeking to be better informed and more proactive about their health and overall well-being.
Each year, Loma Linda University Health recognizes a local charitable organization providing great service to women by honoring the organization with its Community Investment award.  This year, Time for Change Foundation was chosen as the recipient.  Since 2002, Time for Change Foundation has been dedicated to helping homeless women and children achieve self-sufficiency by using a strength-based approach to address their needs. The Foundation’s programs and supportive services help to provide women and their children with the tools necessary to recover from homelessness, drug addiction, family separation, mental and physical abuse, and the effects of incarceration.  Through these services, women are taught how to live healthy, fit, successfully productive lives.
“We all were overjoyed when we were informed about the award,” said Kim Carter, Executive Director of Time for Change Foundation.  “Loma Linda Health is a pillar in the community and being recognized lets us know that we are on the right path in ensuring that all women have access to healthy lives.”
For more information about the conference or to purchase tickets, go to www.lomalindahealth.org.
Time for Change Foundation’s mission is to empower disenfranchised low income individuals and families by building leadership through evidenced-based programs and housing to create self-sufficiency and thriving communities.  To learn more about Time for Change Foundation visit its website at, www.timeforchangefoundation.org.

Dwaine Radden Sr. and Wife Melinda Radden

The AAA Minor League Football Hall of Fame held an induction ceremony on January 10, 2014 at Desert Princess Golf Resort at 6pm in Cathedral City, CA. The ceremony honored fifty-six coaches and players who coach at the Minor League level and have shown exemplary coaching and player abilities. The ceremony opened with a dinner where the coaches got the chance to interact with one another and network.
Darrel “Mouse” Davis was the guest speaker at the induction ceremony. Davis is an American football coach who coached at the collegiate and professional level. Davis, who coached various football teams including Portland State, the Detroit Lions and the Atlanta Falcons, was the pioneer of the “Run ‘n’ Shoot” offense. At the ceremony, Davis

reminisced on his career and provided humor and words of encouragement to the coaches and players who were being inducted.
Amongst the eighteen coaches who were inducted was Dwaine Radden Sr., Head coach of the California Raiders, a team based out of San Bernardino, California. Radden has been serving the community, coaching and mentoring athletes for over 25 years throughout the Inland Empire. He began coaching youth football in 1990, engraving his code throughout generations of work. His work can still be shown today through San Bernardino Pop Warner, which he revived after being defunct several years before 1997.
He created a competitive energy in the city with several players coming out of the Youth Football League such as Chris Polk University of Washington (Philadelphia Eagles), Rodney Harris University of Kansas (Speed Coach), Gary Walker University of Idaho (2013 NFL Draft Prospect), Dewayne Booker Wayland Baptist (Track and Field) just to name a few.

Dick Suess, the Founder of the AAA Hall of Fame and former NFL player, called Radden a legend. He has been revolutionary in elevating this level of football and has impacted thousand of players and young men’s lives throughout the Inland Empire.
Dwaine  has coached Minor football since 2005 and has led the Raiders to three championships, two back-to-back undefeated seasons, one national title appearance and six division championships. The Raiders have accumulated a record of 104-20-1 over the past nine years. The Raiders hold the record for points scored in a single season (579 points).  He and the Raiders have been to the Playoffs every year since their conception in 2005. The Raiders finished the 2013 season ranked #1 in the Western Region and #5 in the nation and hold the UFAL record for points scored in a single season.
He has received countless accolades for coaching such as Semi Pro Talk’s “2013 Coach of the Year” and  “2006 National Football Foundation Coach and Team of the Year”

, “UFAL League Coach of the Year” 2009-2011. Radden said, “A lot of coaches like to hang their hat on players that made it to the next level NFL or Arena football.” He went on to say, “My pleasure comes from seeing young men elevate to the next level in life.”
Coach Radden was the first to accept his induction award and told a story from his childhood to the crowd on how his uncle influenced him to start playing football. The crowd got to know the coach more with the speech he shared.
Radden and his all-star players teamed up with coaches and players from as far as England to play in the Hall of Fame game held at the College of Desert, where they defeated the So. Cal Coyotes 32-30.

Nagging

The number one complaint I hear from men about existing and past relationships and marriages. How it drives or drove them away…all that nagging and complaining.

Checking In

Another popular complaint, why do I have to check in? I don’t even check in with my mother!

The Root

As a woman, as much as a man hates their woman nagging them to death, we also equally hate being considered a “brat” and having to pester, remind you of your worth and ours.

Nagging derives from the origination of a dislike, concern, or care for a person’s wellbeing. This dislike or concern at best was a derivative (maybe the 4th, 5th or 6th) from a soothing expression of our care for you. Our “care” for you reaching your potential of being the best husband, boyfriend, father, professional, friend you can be. We want you to thrive and are your

number one cheerleaders. Our initial good intentions have been elevated, as we view the man has disregarded our concern and care for them as a being and their care for us. Thus the initial calming expression of our concern has transformed into frustration.

When you are or attaining to become a significant part of  a woman’s life, we like to let you into our world by sharing what goes on when you are not around. We also expect that same reciprocity. We like to know if you are going away and made it safely. Not because there is distrust or we are trying to map all of your whereabouts…But because we care for your well-being and have an interest in what goes on in your life when we are not around. Reaching adulthood, attaining your own place, having financial independence…you are now beating to your own drum. Willing to share your life with someone, by way of marriage or attempting to achieve exclusivity, adjustments should be made. Pursuing a relationship and being in one……you should want to let that person know your whereabouts and share what makes you

being who you are. So why not check-in?

The Tamer

The examples of successful marriages and relationships that I have seen in my life, are those where there is an understanding between two people of their expectations and each other’s limitations. While there is disagreement, there is respect for each other’s feelings that the two are willing to come up with a solution. During my travel days with my business colleagues that were married…..I always remember them excusing themselves for 5 minutes to check in with their spouse that they arrived safely, making sure the kids had a normal day and etc. Through several interactions with my married male friends, whom I view have a successful marriage….there was always references of them accommodating their wives “reasonable” expectations. They wanted to avoid the “nag”…..they eventually got it and realized that they are loved and their significant other just wants them to thrive in the best way that he can. Similarly my married lady friends would state the same….maybe it wasn’t the “nag” they were avoiding…in their case the “silent treatment”.

Taming Alternative 1)

Avoiding the “nag” and accepting the “check-in”

• Listen to your woman
• Realize her intentions are from the heart and are not ill-willed
• Adjust and accommodate to her needs
• Or reconcile an understanding

Taming Alternative 2)

• Ignore the “nag”
• Disregard the “Check-in”

The “nag” does not continue in perpetuity. Us as women become tired of hearing our own thoughts knowing they’re not acknowledged. We are not as long-winded as men think. Eventually the “nag” and inquiry of our significant other whereabouts dwindles……we have reached an understanding that our expectations and theirs are not correlated. We stop loving, caring and thinking of your well-being. We become “tamed”…that person whom we thought was significant in our life…..loses his “shrew” and “bugaboo” and often reluctantly regrets as that “shrew”  moves on and eventually transforms into someone else’s queen. Thus goal accomplished we are “tamed” but you as the man who decided to ignore and disregard are now alone.

Written by Tahira Wright. She is a blogger and has her own website at www.happilydivorcedandafter.c

om where she discusses relationship
issues, insights on trending news and celebrity insights and her journey in becoming a happily divorcee. Her style is reality-based with

a quirky and comedic twist.

Posted by Tahira Wright. She is a blogger and has her own website at www.happilydivorcedandafter.com where she discusses relationship issues, insights on trending news and celebrity insights and her journey in becoming a happily divorcee. Her style is reality-based with a quirky and comedic twist.

Rick Avila and Rikke Van Johnson

(By Rick Avila and Rikke Van Johnson)

Together, Rick Avila and Rikke Van Johnson, want to go on record as strongly endorsing Carey Davis for the office of Mayor for the City of San Bernardino. He brings excellent credentials to this position, with an MBA degree from California State University, San Bernardino and 35 years successful accounting and financial management experience. Born and raised in San Bernardino and married for 40 years to Johnetta he is well invested in our City.

As former Mayoral candidates, we feel that Carey Davis is the best remaining candidate to lead in restoring fiscal responsibility to our City; bring integrity and professionalism to City Hall; work toward changing the direction of our City through charter reform; and revive the San Bernardino economy by strengthening existing businesses and encouraging new businesses to create new jobs locally.

We both believe Carey Davis is the best remaining candidate qualified to be our next Mayor. If you want to see honesty and respectability in government leadership, join with us in supporting Carey Davis for Mayor of San Bernardino.

King Dice

It’s so much talent in da’ I.E. What it Do with LUE introduces Hip-hop artist King Dice babe! So that was my attempt to spit some dope lyrics. I know, I won’t let go of my day job, (LOL), On the real it is an honor to highlight this talented individual.

Born in Los Angeles, King Dice moved to the Inland Empire at a young age. In 2011, he launched the ultra-popular website “JooseBoxx.com”, which became one of Southern California’s fastest growing Hip-hop, lifestyle websites. Surrounding himself with other emcee’s reminded him of his first love, music.

Getting back into the groove of making music again, he decided to get his feet wet by entering in various beat making competitions. In 2012, he placed fourth in the “Rehab Beat Battle Competition”. Not giving up, Dice entered the competition again in 2013 and was crowned champion.

Gaining the respect of his peers as a producer and emcee, King Dice tapped into his other talents. In 2013, he founded the “Royal Gambling Club”. The club consists of a small circle of innovative, hard-working and like-minded artists from all walks of life. I love to watch this dude perform. He commands the stage with his presence.

He recently released his first album, “Red Mahogany Drive” in 2013 which was named one of the Top 25 albums of 2013 in the Press-Enterprise with his single “Yahtzee”. He also won an award for the best song named after a board game. “Yahtzee” is one of my favorites, so big up’s to the KING, King Dice that is!

For more information or to check out the music, please visit facebook.com/KingDiceSays Peace & Blessing to you all!

Posted by Tahira Wright. She is a blogger and has her own website at www.happilydivorcedandafter.com where she discusses relationship issues, insights on trending news and celebrity insights and her journey in becoming a happily divorcee. Her style is reality-based with a quirky and comedic twist.

Many times when entering in a relationship or friendship there is initial acceptance of a certain level of trust. What increases your level of comfort with someone? Is it time that has elapsed since initially engaged with that person or the depth of your communication?

When reflecting over obstacles faced in my relationships, I cannot help but to say to myself, now had we communicated our thoughts better this issue would of been a moot topic. In my opinion, trust and communication are directly correlated. Between two people of the opposite sex, this becomes a challenge. When speaking to my girlfriends we have very descriptive conversations, share our emotions whether it is the way our feet felt in our brand new pumps when we hit the town last night or how we are excited in meeting a new guy. Men on the other hand tend to be more reserved, keep it simple share on a need to know basis. If you want to know how there day was, you have to pry it out by asking specific questions. “What type of feedback did you receive from your manager on the presentation you were up all night preparing for?” Not just how did it go. On the other hand, when a man asks a woman how her day went, we as women will start to tell a story. We discuss  how our boss looked at us, what they were wearing and want it to be interpreted by our mate.  But men don’t want to hear all that. They just want to know it went well and as a result there will be a peaceful evening.

The imbalance in my opinion can create trust issues if the man and woman aren’t understanding of the communication expectations from each other. What communication feedback do I as a woman want and need in a relationship? When initiating the possibility of a relationship: communicate expectations upfront. When you are dating: still communicate updated expectations. When exclusively dating or married: still communicate updated expectations. When I refer to expectations not I want to get married in so many months. Gees relax men! Some men hear expectations and think us women are trying to race them to the altar or give them a long list of rules. No not the case at all. In my opinion for most women, we want to hear what type of woman our potential mate likes and explain what keeps us attracted. What thrives you and goals do you have are the questions we want answered. Now these expectations change. So it is important for both mates to stay updated. Only difference is that maybe the communication will need to be more direct and less colorful when speaking to a man. For the man he will need to step up his convo and be a bit more descriptive.

When there are too many unknown variables….alternative conclusions and assumptions are made. Expectations are not met and trust begins to erode as opposed to increasing. Hence, in my opinion communication and trust are intertwined together.

What Are Your Thoughts? Do You Think Communication Fosters Trust?

The news on Saturday Night Live’s (SNL) newest cast member was spreading the online media and social media world like wildfire on Monday, January 6. The reason for the excitement, astonishing announcement is because this new member of the popular television sitcom is a Afro-Centric woman by the name of Sasheer Zamata.

Zamata is an amazing actress, writer and comedian from New York. She hosts a weekly variety show called School Night at UCBNY on Wednesday nights at 11 p.m. In addition she performs improv with Doppelganger  and BUCKY on Harold Nights, which is also held at UCBNY.

This rising star  is set to make her debut on SNL on the January 18 episode, the same night that rap epitome Drake hosts the show.  The casting of the show came after showcases featuring Black female comedians were held in New York and Los Angeles after the long-running sketch series faces widespread criticism that the new stars of the fan favorite sitcom lacked minority faces and specifically the inclusion of an African-American woman.

For more information on the dynamic comedian and actress, follow her on Twitter @thesheertruth, like her on Facebook or visit her official website at sasheer.com. (Written by  Naomi Bonman)

Pastor Raymond Turner

SAN BERNARDINO, CA- On Sunday, January 12 Temple Missionary Baptist Church will celebrate 76 years during an afternoon service at 3:30 p.m. To commemorate this special occasion, Pastor Charles R. Jones of St. Reed Missionary Baptist Church of Los Angeles will be the guest speaker. The church is located at 1583 W. Union Street in San Bernardino. For more information call the church office at 909-880-2038 or visit templemissionarybaptistchurch.org.