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FONTANA, CA—Victor Glover was escorted into the press conference at the Jesse Turner Center on the arms of Miss Black Awareness and her Court, where he was greeted by his fraternity Brothers, elected officials, and the press.

This took place on Saturday, September 18 during the 5^th Annual Concerned Citizens for the Development of North Fontana. The event was a day of, “UNITY in the CommUNITY”. Other festivities of the event were the Chillin’ N Grillin’ BBQ competition.  A big thank you goes out to all the grillers for your participation, and Congratulations to the Riverside County Fire department for taking home the MasterChef award for 2021-2022. 

Representatives from Ted Porter Elementary School 5th grade class was invited to attend a VIP press conference with Commander Victor Glover, while over 100 of their classmates anxiously waited at the North Fontana Park Sports Pavilion.  The four Representatives asked very pertinent questions to astronaut Glover about how life was living in space for six months, and presented him with a banner that 5 grade classes had made for him.  

Victor Glover was pleasantly surprised to receive the key to the City from Fontana’s City Council members presented to him by Mayor Acquanetta Warren. After the press conference, he was transported by Fiona the movie car and her owner Elaine Francisco where he was led into the Sports Pavilion by Chaffey  High School Honor Guard Naval ROTC to a beautiful rendition of America the Beautiful sang by Amore’ the Songstress, accompanied by a 116 piece band from Summit High School under the direction of Mr Sharp.

The goal of the organization is not only to break bread together, but to bring CommUNITY Awareness to the Inland empire.  their initial purpose was to

bridge the gap between law enforcement agencies and the community.  However, the vehicle that fuels this event is education as stated by Ellen Turner, president of the Concerned Citizens, she further states that knowledge and partnership is the essential.

This annual event would not be possible without the help and support from the City of Fontana, and the Police Officers Association. It truly “takes a village”.

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RIVERSIDE, CA- The Pink Ribbon Place, a program of Riverside Community Health Foundation, is proud to announce the return of its 10th annual breast cancer awareness walk – Pink on Parade -with virtual and in-person activities that highlight the importance of raising breast cancer awareness, screenings and early detection to save lives.
 
According to the CDC, the total number of cancer screening tests received by women through the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program (Early Detection Program) declined by 87 percent  for breast cancer during the pandemic.
 
“Breast cancer screenings and treatments have been impacted by the Covid-19 pandemic; many have delayed, and some have even skipped annual screenings, which can be instrumental in the early detection of breast cancer,” said Nicole Stovicek, Director ofThe Pink Ribbon Place. “Pink on Parade is a celebration of strength, hope and survival, but it is also an opportunity to remind every one of us of the importance of early detection and to increase knowledge of breast cancer signs and symptoms. We ask everyone who can get involved in raising breast cancer awareness with us, to do so.” 
 
The Pink Ribbon Place invites you to kick off breast cancer awareness month early this year with two virtual contests, “Art on Parade” and “Paint the Town Pink”. “Art on Parade” invites community members to create an art piece inspired by the breast cancer journey in any medium and “Paint the Town Pink” invites locals to decorate the interior or exterior of their home and/or business in pink. Community members can enter the contests and vote for their favorite entries throughout October. All entries must be submitted by October 2 via pinkonparade.org.   
 
In addition to the virtual contests, the Pink on Parade route will return on Saturday, October 16th at Mt. Rubidoux (Ryan Bonamino Park 5000 Tequesquite Ave, Riverside, CA 92506) from 8AM-5PM. Individuals, family, friends, and co-workers are encouraged to start a team, fundraise, and walk the decorated route at their leisure and enjoy activities which include a Hula celebration and dedication at 8:30AM on top of Mt. Rubidioux, a Jeep Club car show, and breakfast & BBQ provided by Riverside Police Officers Association’s Lost in Sauce food truck are just a few highlights community members can look forward to at this year’s in-person walk.
 
Though registration is free for this year’s event, Team Captains are encouraged to register and engage their family and friends to fundraise and raise breast cancer awareness. Proceeds from Pink on Parade will go towards the no-cost services at The Pink Ribbon Place, which supports individuals and families impacted by cancer by providing education, client navigation, counseling, support groups, headwear, post mastectomy products, treatment kits and much more.  
 
The event is proudly sponsored by Aetna, who is committed to providing individuals, employers, health care professionals, producers and others with innovative benefits, products, and services.  
 
Important Dates to Remember: September 1?-?Contests Open; October 2 – Contests Deadline; October 8-22 – Community Votes; October 16 – Pink on Parade; October 29 – Winners Announced  
 
For more information about the Pink on Parade visit www.pinkonparade.org. 

By Antonio? ?Ray? ?Harvey?, California? ?Black? ?Media?

It looks like Gov. Gavin Newsom will remain in the office he won in 2018 after he secured an insurmountable lead in votes counted so far in Tuesday’s gubernatorial recall election. 

Several media outlets projected shortly before midnight Tuesday that the attempt to remove Newsom from office failed. 

About an hour after thanking Californians for keeping him in office, Newsom tweeted, “Now, let’s get back to work.”

Larry Elder, a conservative Republican Los Angeles-based talk show host, who was the leading candidate vying to remove Newsom from office conceded the race. A total of 46 candidates were on the ballot to replace Newsom. 

“Let’s be gracious in defeat,” Elder said after the results started pouring in and it was obvious, he had no chance of winning.  “We may have lost the battle, but we are going to win the war.”

According to preliminary results, just under 65% of the voters have said “no” to recalling Newsom in the special election that is estimated to have cost California taxpayers $276 million. With about 67 % of all votes counted so far, only a little over 35% voted yes on the recall. 

Reactions on social media included the following:

Kevin Mullin (D-San Mateo), Assembly Speaker pro Tem tweeted, “A $276 million waste just to reaffirm 2018’s results with an election coming in 2022. The CA recall process must be reformed including elevating the Lt. Guv in the event of a recall. But to avoid partisan power grabs the Governor/LG should be a ticket of the same party (like NY).”

Lt. Gov. Eleni Kounalakis wrote, “Thank you California for recognizing that @GavinNewsom is exactly where he needs to be, in the Governor’s office! His commitment to the people of California is unwavering and I look forward to his continued leadership of our great state!”

Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA 37) tweeted, “Proud of our governor. Proud of our people. Proud of California.”

Newsom told supporters, although Californians voted “no” to the recall, he wants to focus on all the things they were saying yes to by their votes. 

“‘No’ is not the only thing that was expressed tonight,” Newsom said. “I want to focus on what we said ‘yes’ to as a state. We said yes to science. We said yes to vaccines. We said yes to ending this pandemic. We said yes to people’s right to vote without fear of fake fraud or voter suppression.”

The gubernatorial recall was the fifth statewide vote Dr. Shirley Weber has overseen since she was appointed Secretary of State on Jan. 19. Throughout the process, Weber, a former Assemblymember who represented the 79^th District in San Diego County, says she worked hard to make sure that voter fraud or the talk of fraud of would not interfere in the results of this election. 

“We worked hard to secure our elections. There’s no evidence of fraud or miscounting,” Weber said on CNN. “As Secretary of State, we’ve been even-handed in how we’ve handled every issue. I was sued by the governor as well as by others because of some of the decisions we made that were fair and just.”

Weber’s office has 30 days to certify the recall election once all of the votes have been counted. If there are any discrepancies, Weber said those issues will be addressed.

“I like to say to those that continue to challenge this issue of fairness and so forth, I always say, ‘where’s the evidence?’” Weber said. “We are willing to accept the evidence as it is not just to simply open-ended allegations of fraud and deceptions. Those things are easy to say. But we have yet to get evidence of fraud and deception.”

By Antonio? ?Ray? ?Harvey?, California? ?Black? ?Media?

Soon after Assemblymember Mia Bonta (D-Oakland) was sworn in last week to represent California’s 18th Assembly District — which covers parts of East Bay — she signed on as a member of the California Legislative Women’s Caucus (CLWC), the California Latino Legislative Caucus (CLLC), and the California Black Legislative Caucus (CLBC).

Bonta is the 11th member of the Black Caucus and the only lawmaker representing a district in the Bay Area. In the Latino Caucus, she is the 30th member, and out of 120 lawmakers in both houses of the state legislature, she is the 39th woman.

“Special congratulations to our newest member @MiaBonta, who was sworn into the Assembly this morning! #AD18 has chosen a fantastically fearless representative, and I look forward to working with you Assemblymember Bonta! #CALeg,” Assemblymember Akilah Weber (D- San Diego) wrote.

Mialisa “Mia” Tania Bonta, who is Puerto Rican of African descent, earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from Yale University in 1993 and a Master of Education (Ed.M.) from the Harvard Graduate School of Education in 1996. Bonta also received a J.D. from Yale University Law School in 1999.

Her work experience includes over 20 years working with nonprofits, including serving as CEO of Oakland Promise, a college and career prep program for Alameda County high school students. She was also president of the Alameda Unified School District Board from 2018 to 2021.

“Congratulations to @MiaBonta on her election to the Assembly, which not only made her the first Afro Latina in the Legislature, but also raised the number of women in the Legislature to an all-time high,” California Lt. Gov., Eleni Kounalakis state on Twitter.

The 18th Assembly District includes a large portion of the city of Oakland and the cities of Alameda and San Leandro. Bonta was elected in a special election on Aug. 31, defeating fellow Democrat Janani Ramachandra.

“I am deeply honored to represent the 18th Assembly District. Our district has a long history of bold, progressive, leadership and I plan to continue this work in our diverse district,” Bonta tweeted Sept. 7. “I’m ready to fight for bold solutions to

issues like homelessness, housing affordability, climate change, and criminal justice reform for AD-18 and all Californians. I am ready to get to work.”

Bonta steps in to replace her husband, Rob Bonta, who vacated the AD 18th seat in April after Gov. Newsom appointed him California Attorney General, replacing Xavier Becerra, who is now United States Secretary of Health and Human Services.

Compton Councilmember Michelle Chambers and sister of actor Michael K. Williams released the following statement on the death of her brother:

“Our family has been shaken to the core of the loss of our Mike. Thank you to everyone who contacted us, flooded us with love, and more importantly, prayers. I will miss my brother, my best friend and birthday partner in this realm, but I know he will continue to watch over me and our family in heaven as he did on earth.”

RIALTO, CA—- While most of her middle school contemporaries are headed to high school, Allanah Mouton, is now attending Cal State L.A. to pursue a degree in chemical engineering. Accepted through the University’s Early Entrance Program (EEP), Allanah Mouton was admitted to Cal State L.A. at the age of 12. She is now on track to graduate summa cum laude in less than 4 years.

Cal State L.A.’s EEP admits extraordinarily gifted youngsters—some as young as 11—directly into college, providing the early entrants with monitored evaluation, regular counseling sessions, and the opportunity to study with like-minded peers. For Allanah the process for applying to EEP CSULA included a year-long competitive interview which began with portfolio submissions, essay responses, individual and family interviews, several mandatory orientations and information sessions, and ended with a five-week summer session in which Allanah completed three college level workshops across various disciplines (calculus, social science, and natural science). While the program began on a zoom call with over 100 applicants only 21 applicants, including Allanah were granted admission to EEP through the Honor College.

Allanah said, “I’m excited about the opportunity, and of course, I have concerns about making the transition from middle school directly to a university, but the support from my family, especially, my mom has made me confident in my decision.”

Allanah has always been exceptional, she tested out of 4th grade, placing well into high school but at the time, her mother decided to only allow her to skip one grade level. She had concerns about opportunities for social and emotional growth. Having earned a 4.0 grade point average throughout elementary and middle school, and after her grandmother saw a news story on CBS about CSULA’s early entrance program. Allanah developed an interest in pursuing early college enrollment

As a part of the EEP program select students are waived the high school A-G requirements which allows them to enroll in the University under a special exemption. The program chooses students whom they feel have the skills necessary to be successful in the program. Allanah’s reading, writing, mathematical skills, and capacity for logical thinking were heavily criticized and tested as a part of the 5-week workshops she completed during the interview process.

Allanah Mouton is a resident of Rialto. She loves to draw, plays several instruments including the drums and saxophone. She enjoys practicing her skateboard and baking in her spare time. She also volunteers at the family’s nonprofit organization which provides residential care facilities to mentally ill adults. She has dreams of working with NASA and contributing solutions to the global climate change crisis. For now, plans after college graduation include applying to graduate school with Stanford as her number one choice and getting her driver’s license!

By Merilee Kern

As we head into fall and are now back to school, it is more important than ever to carry on with healthy hydration habits from the long, hot days of summer. The human body is made up of 50% water, in order to achieve peak hydration needs, kids (ages 4-8) require five cups of water per day and kids (ages 8+) require 7-8 cups per day. 

“Unfortunately, water is not the most tasty or easy to drink liquid so often we substitute it with other things such as milk, sports drinks, orange juice or fruit concentrates,” says James Mayo, Co-Founder and CEO of SOS Hydration. “These substitutions offer some hydration benefits, but also come with excessive amounts of sugar and high calories that kids don’t need. Just take a peek at the nutrition panels the next time you reach for one of these beverages. Many of these drinks disguise their contents on the front by clever marketing or small pack sizes but look at the truth panel on the side to see the number of calories and also in many cases the amount of artificial ingredients. A carton of orange or apple juice can have 100 calories and a fruit concentrate pouch can have 60 with some cartons that call themselves honest still having a heaping of 40 calories and excessive sugar.”

The next option for hydration you might consider are the water enhancing powders. Many of these products tout ultra-hydration but, again, one would be wise to visit the nutrition panels first as they are often loaded with artificial ingredients.  “Some electrolyte drink options for kids on the marketplace lead people astray with their ‘organic’ ingredients or ‘physician recommended’ but be wary of sugar, which is not the ideal product for kid’s hydration,” James warns.

These realities led SOS Hydration to launch its first annual September “National Family Hydration Awareness Month” initiative, during which the public is invited to learn about the physical, cognitive and emotional benefits of pre-hydrating to avoid becoming dehydrated. Throughout National Family Hydration Awareness Month families will enjoy an assortment of activities and benefits aimed to help them become, and remain, hydration minded as the new school and business year kicks into gear. From its web site at www.SOSKidsHydration.com, families can learn more about the science of hydration and see the full line of SOS Hydration products for both adults and children.

Also starting this month, children across America can enjoy SOS Hydration’s healthier and more effective alternative to the mass-market sugary drinks targeted to children. The company’s new child–specific, low sugar electrolyte drink mix formula—SOS Kids, featuring PAW Patrol—is now available online at SOSHydration.com, Walmart.com starting September 11 and, also this September, will be exclusively available on shelves in every Walmart store throughout the United States.

“As a dad of two young girls I wanted a better-for-you lunch box alternative to the high sugar, unhealthy beverages marketed at children…plus I understand the power of PAW Patrol,” said James Mayo, Co-Founder and CEO of SOS Hydration. “My girls love the pups and I love what they stand for. With our company having formulated the first kids-specific electrolyte, vitamin and mineral drink, my wife and I felt the PAW Patrol franchise was a perfect partner since their values mirror our own. The pups now grace the packaging of our SOS Kids line that not only tastes great, but also gives children that boost of hydration—all without the artificial ‘nasties’ and high sugar content of other so-called solutions on the market.”

SOS Kids was specially-formulated for daily hydration by SOS Hydration Co-Founder and board certified Internal Medicine physician Dr. Blanca Lizaola-Mayo to help keep children optimally hydrated, and actually avoid becoming dehydrated in the first place—a condition that compromises the body and mind in a variety of ways. SOS Kids has only three grams of sugar; is boosted with Vitamins A and C, minerals Zinc and Magnesium; and contains no artificial additives—all designed to keep kids ahead of their hydration needs so they can perform better and get more from their days. “The first sign of thirst means you are dehydrated,” notes Dr. Lizaola-Mayo. “SOS helps the body absorb water two to three times faster than drinking water alone and provides a better alternative for children over juices, powders and other sports drinks laden with unnecessary sugar, calories, carbohydrates and additives.”

Mayo added, “SOS Kids is a valuable addition to our popular adult hydration line that is based off independent and 3^rd party research for maximum advocacy,” Mayo said. “We’ve also put our product formulas up for independent research so that we can base our claims on fact rather than self-promotional rhetoric. One need only review the ‘How does SOS Compare’ page of our web site to appreciate the comprehensive suite of reasons putting our formula in a scientific league of its own. We want consumers to fully vet us against our competitors as well as published scientific standards so they can truly understand appreciate what sets up apart and makes our product worthy of their hard-earned dollars.”

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Forbes Business Council Member Merilee Kern, MBA is an internationally-regarded brand analyst, strategist and futurist who reports on cultural shifts and trends as well as noteworthy industry change makers, movers, shakers and innovators across all categories, both B2C and B2B. This includes field experts and thought leaders, brands, products, services, destinations and events. Merilee is Founder, Executive Editor and Producer of “The Luxe List” as well as Host of the  “Savvy Living” lifestyle TV show that airs in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Miami, Atlanta and other major markets on CBS, FOX and other top networks; as well as the “Savvy Ventures” business TV show that airs nationally on FOX Business TV and Bloomberg TV. As a prolific lifestyle, travel, dining and leisure industry voice of authority and tastemaker, Merilee keeps her finger on the pulse of the marketplace in search of new and innovative must-haves and exemplary experiences at all price points, from the affordable to the extreme. Her work reaches multi-millions worldwide via broadcast TV (her own shows and copious others on which she appears) as well as a myriad of print and online publications. Connect with her at www.TheLuxeList.com and www.SavvyLiving.tv / Instagram www.Instagram.com/LuxeListReports / Twitter www.Twitter.com/LuxeListReports / Facebook www.Facebook.com/LuxeListReports / LinkedIN www.LinkedIn.com/in/MerileeKern.

By Karen Earl | Special to California Black Media

Hundreds gathered online and in person at Faithful Central Bible Church in Los Angeles for the home-going celebration of Michelle A. Avan on Aug. 27.

The 48-year-old senior banking executive was found beaten to death in her Reseda home on Aug. 5.  

Viewers of the livestream expressed prayers and condolences, and especially shared how beautiful the celebration of her life was.  Their sentiments reflected the beauty and solemnity of the invocation, songs by an all-female youth ensemble, and a video presentation of the beloved mother, daughter, sister and friend in her personal and professional life experiences.

Avan’s son Trevon Avan and daughter Nyah Avan shared some of their endearing and humorous moments with her.  They were best friends, more like sisters, said her daughter, as she took deep breaths.  She loved to dress up in her mom’s clothing, and grew to love to pick out Avan’s attire, especially for award ceremonies and galas.  

“I know her spirit will still continue to help me through my own award ceremonies, because she’ll give my aunties, my uncles, my cousins, my grandparents, my dad, her sister-friends, her village, the strength to help carry me and my brother on during these difficult times,” said her daughter, brimming with pride.

“I never thought that this would happen to someone like her; someone who believed in the people; someone who believed in being your true, authentic self, no matter what,” stated her son. “But on this day, we’ll celebrate my mom’s living legacy, he said.

Andy Sieg, president, Merrill Lynch Wealth Management, reflected on the woman who had a remarkable impact on the company for over 23 years.

She landed her dream job and took charge of the hiring, development and advancement of women, people of color, and others with differences, when she was made head of Women’s and Underrepresented Talent Strategy for Bank of America last June, he reflected.

“That is a huge impact.  It’s across a company of 200,000 people,” said Sieg.  As teammate Susan Axelrod expressed, Avan’s unique gift was the ability to bring people together in very special ways, to lift up those left behind, to encourage others to extend a helping hand … Far beyond their mission of driving adversity, she stood for unity, empathy, acceptance,” he continued.

Meanwhile, police arrested 52-year-old Anthony Turner, her ex-boyfriend, alleging he entered her home on August 3, killed her, then left the next day. Bail was set at $2 million.

Turner faces one felony count each of murder and first-degree residential burglary, and has pleaded not-guilty.  He has been released on bail and a preliminary hearing has been reportedly scheduled for Sept. 30.

One in four women will experience a form of intimate partner violence in their lifetime. Within the Black community, 45.1 % of Black women have experienced intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetimes. 

Family members, friends, concerned community members and colleagues of Black women and girls plagued by and ultimately killed in domestic or intimate partner violence bemoan the question over and over again, “Why did she stay?”.

Jenesse Center, Inc., in its 40-year history of meeting the needs of intimate partner survivors has learned that the answers are more nuanced, complex, and many, such as:

“I had nowhere else to go.” 

“I felt ashamed.” 

“I couldn’t call the police.”

Our Black girls and women face the added burden of structural racism.  Negative interactions between law enforcement and Black girls and women are rooted in the institution of slavery and have become institutionalized responses in the decades since. Far too often we are seen as “less than human” and as such, are not given the respect and grace to be in crisis and needing help; to be a victim, and not perpetrator of violence. If the police are called, far too many Black girls and women have themselves been arrested and persecuted as the “aggressor.” 

In other cases, Black girls and women have been killed by police responding to their calls for help. On average, it is expected that between 2.4 and 5.4 Black girls and women per 100,000 will be killed by police over the course of their lifetime.  Black women are 1.4 times more likely to be killed by the police than white women. They also fear not being believed and that if the police respond and do nothing, they and their children are at greater risk of increased acts of violence by their partner once the police leave. 

But also, Black women are conflicted by the thought of turning their children’s father over to the state, compounding years of social injustice in the criminal justice system. However, they also face further isolation, shame, and ridicule by family and friends for calling -9-1-1 even when their very lives are at-risk.  

Collectively, what is our community responsibility to safety and protection of Black girls and women in Los Angeles County?  How do we take a stand to protect our mothers and daughters? How do we amplify our voices to say, “enough is enough”?

The Jenesse Center, a domestic violence intervention organization based here in Los Angeles, calls upon elected officials, public policy makers, employers, and community and spiritual leaders to join us in solidarity toward action. The interventions and preventative support services we provide to victims and survivors of domestic are holistic, trauma-informed and culturally responsive.

We need informed advocates who relentlessly amplify the message that Black girl’s and women’s lives have value and drive action to ending intimate partner violence in our homes. Jenesse is ready to change the world by changing hearts and minds right here in our community.  

Are you ready to join us?

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About the Author

Karen Earl is CEO of the Jenesse Center, a Los Angeles-based non-profit organization that provides  domestic violence intervention and prevention support programs.

RIALTO, CA—- Rialto Mayor Deborah Robertson is one of 34 leaders from across the country appointed to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s Local Government Advisory Committee (LGAC).

Robertson’s appointment was announced Wednesday by EPA Administrator Michael S. Regan. The 39-member LGAC represents a diverse cross-section of cities, counties, towns, and communities across the United States, and advises the EPA Administrator on a variety of issues impacting cities.

“It’s a privilege to be part of this distinguished committee as we work on climate security, sustainable economic development, infrastructure needs and eliminating barriers to economic opportunity for all,” Robertson said. “Rialto has been at the forefront of many of these issues, and I look forward to sharing our experiences with my fellow mayors and local leaders, while continuing to look at innovative solutions, which helps to advance equity and economic solutions, especially for communities identified as disadvantaged.”

Said Regan: “I’m honored to welcome this diverse, highly qualified group of local leaders who will bring valuable insight and experience to the Agency. EPA is counting on their input and collaboration to help achieve our mission to protect public health and the environment in every zip code. From tackling climate change to advancing environmental justice, we need local partners at the table to address our most pressing environmental challenges.”

With a population of more than 103,000, Rialto is one of the fastest-growing cities in the Inland Empire, with a strong business climate and a strong reputation for innovation and sustainable development.

A notable example is the work in and around Rialto’s wastewater treatment plant, including the development of a microgrid that uses solar, biogas and battery story to bring greater energy independence to the City, and the recent awarding of a $1.05 million grant to create a recreation and education area using recycled water from the plant. The microgrid project has been hailed as a giant step forward in the way municipalities can take positive steps toward a greener future.

For more information about the LGAC, please visit https://www.epa.gov/ocir/local-government-advisory-committee-lgac.

1. The love from a dedicated and committed spouse that truly sees you, is invested in honoring you, and puts you before them will cause you both to soar in ways unexpected.  When you give completely of yourself, your spouse will do the same.  No need to worry if you’ll be taken care of.  
2. People are watching. They may never say a word. Some are judging you and waiting for you to fail. Many are cheering you on. Some are using your example to model or as a what not to do guide for their own marriage or future marriage. 
3. What other people think does not matter. It is you two.
4. Loving your spouse how they receive love is crucial to the survival and overall health of your marriage.
5. Happy wife does in fact make a happy life. When the wife has joy and is fulfilled, the home runs more smoothly. The kids and the husband bask in that joy and peace she creates because she is at peace. But the husband is not responsible for this happiness. He can and should add to it. Spouses should add to each other’s happiness. But neither should lose themselves.
6. Both spouses need to be fulfilled individually. Hobbies, trips, alone time –each needs to factor that in because life is hard and we need breaks from everyone, even our beloved.
7. When a million things come at you all at the same time, you must look to God and keep your eye on your spouse. Both of you cannot drown. You will take turns being the “strong” one.
8. The perfect marriage for you and your spouse is created by investing in one another. The kids do not come before the marriage. Date nights where you turn distractions off and tune in to one another are essential.  
9. The way your spouse experiences can for them feel different than what you intend. You can truly think you’re giving your all but if that’s not how your spouse sees it or can receive it, conflict and resentment can arise. Checking in to discuss how your spouse is feeling tended to by you are important.
10. People change, dynamics change but the vows you took never change. The commitment expectation does not either.